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KarlandLeni
Mar 28, 2025
Satisfyer Wand-er Woman – The Wand That Gave Us Trust Issues 😅
Big Toy, Big Promises, Big Letdowns? When we first got our hands on the Satisfyer Wand-er Woman, we were curious. A powerful, extra-large wand massager that promises deep, rumbly vibrations, full-body relaxation, and earth-shattering orgasms? Sounds like a dream. Plus, it’s waterproof, has 50 vibration combinations, and comes with a 10-year warranty - what could go wrong? Well… quite a bit. At first glance, it looks sleek, luxurious, and ready to bring some serious intensity. But after multiple rounds of testing (and even a few replacements), we quickly realized that this wand comes with some serious drawbacks. Whether it's the awkward size, unreliable motor, or frustrating battery life, this toy had us feeling more annoyed than satisfied. But hey, let’s dive into the details. 😉
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KarlandLeni
May 22, 2025
Fleshlight Emily Willis – Squirt: A Gentle Hit That Keeps Pulling Us Back 😌
The one that chills, but knows exactly how to keep the tension building 😏. This one had our hearts before we even opened the box because let’s be honest: we’ve loved Emily for years. But as much as our fangirl/fanboy goggles were on, we didn’t expect Squirt to be quite so chill. And that’s exactly what makes her stand out. She’s not flashy and she’s not trying to rip your soul out through your glans. She’s subtle. Balanced. Mild enough for long sessions, interesting enough to keep you engaged. The entrance is welcoming, the structure flows, and her suction game? Quietly elite. We’ve tried a lot of sleeves, but few manage to feel this forgiving while still doing their job. That’s Squirt and she sneaks into your rotation and suddenly you realize she never left. And every time you come back, she just works. This isn’t the sleeve that’ll give you fireworks after 3 minutes. But if you’re looking for an intimate, laid-back ride with a little emotional side-eye (and maybe a second round on top), Emily is waiting. Want to know why she’s the mellow ride that still makes an impact? Keep reading or jump to the parts that hit your spot 😉.
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Tigerlily
Sep 27, 2024
Review: Succubus Sole Foot Fuck Masturbator
If you’ve always wanted to take the term “foot fuck” to its literal conclusion, the Succubus Sole Foot Fuck masturbator from Onahole.com (for US readers) or MostuToys.com (EU/UK) is potentially one of the best things to come out of Japan yet.
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KarlandLeni
May 20, 2025
Fleshlight Elsa Jean Review – Tasty But Not Trashy 😏
Not Everyone’s Favorite, But Possibly Yours 😉 We’ve tested sleeves that blew us away on the first thrust, and others that grew on us over time. Tasty, she's in the second camp. There’s nothing flashy here, no fireworks, no punch-you-in-the-face texture. And maybe that’s exactly why she earned her name: she’s not the wildest dish on the menu, but she’s one you might crave when you’re not in the mood for chaos. Tasty is simple, reliable, soft-spoken. She lets you take the lead and gives just enough to keep you going without stealing the spotlight. Not every session has to be a challenge. Sometimes you just want a toy that does its job smoothly, quietly, and with a lot of grace. That’s Tasty. She won’t be everyone’s favorite. But for the right user? She might be the one that sticks around. Especially if you like edging, longer sessions, or just a more “realistic” feel. Tasty might not shout, but she sure knows how to stay. 😌 Looking for something mild, smooth, and built for slow burn? Then keep reading, or jump to the comparisons and see how she stacks up. 😉
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KarlandLeni
Mar 24, 2025
Satisfyer Double Fun – Double the Fun or Double the Frustration? 🤔
The Couple’s Vibrator That Sounded Exciting—But Left Us Frustrated When it comes to couple’s vibrators, I always think of the We-Vibe. We never actually owned one, but reading about it made us curious about this kind of toy. The idea of something that could bring extra stimulation for both partners during penetration sounded awesome. So, when we saw the Satisfyer Double Fun as a free promo gift, we figured, ‘Why not?’ Free sex toys are the best kind of sex toys, right? Worst case, we’d have some fun experimenting. Spoiler alert: We did not have fun. 🫠 On paper, it checks all the boxes—flexible U-shape, strong vibrations, app control, waterproof. But in reality? It felt more like a third wheel than a sexy enhancement. We gave it multiple tries, hoping it would grow on us. At the end, we just never clicked with it. After about 10 tries, it found its final resting place in our bedside drawer, untouched and collecting dust. So, what went wrong? Let’s get into it. 😉
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RalphGreco
Dec 11, 2024
Violet Myers, Another Wonderful Fleshlight Girl
From the company that brings us all "The #1 Selling Male Sex Toy In The World," Fleshlight presents yet another textured masturbating sleeve, this one rendered in the 'likeness' of porn star, Violet Myers. Sporting the usual Fleshlight adjustable suction cap, this phthalate-free thrust-'til-you-bust sleeve made of the company's SuperSkin material, features Meyer's signature Waifu texture in a hard pearlescent case. You really can't go wrong with a Fleshlight.
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KarlandLeni
Apr 09, 2025
Owen Grey Signature - Our Most Realistic Ride Yet? 😍
He’s Big. He’s Bold. He’s Owen. 😏 This toy doesn’t just pretend to be Owen Grey – it feels like he somehow snuck into our bedroom and left a perfect replica behind. From the hyper-realistic details down to the vein patterns and that infamous piercing scar (yes, really), this is hands-down the most anatomically accurate dildo we’ve ever touched. And trust us, we’ve touched a few. 😅 That said, Owen’s Signature Cock is not for the faint of heart. He’s thick, heavy, and takes some serious prep – both mentally and physically. But if you’re ready to level up and want a high-quality, ultra-realistic toy that’s as close to the real Owen Grey as you’ll probably ever get, this one’s worth the hype. Do we wish he was a touch squishier on the outside? Sure. Would that stop us from reaching for him again? Absolutely not. Whether it’s for solo play, shared sessions, or your personal pornstar fantasy – this toy delivers. Just make sure you stretch first. 😉
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GuadAlkilineLeak
Apr 22, 2025
Fashion Over Function? | Sohimi's Double Sided Strap On
Sohimi’s Double Sided Strap-On is a product that proves the theory of “Getting what you paid for.” If you are looking for a product that will get the job done with a little bit of fun, or maybe you want this cheaper alternative while you save up money for a higher quality (and more expensive) product, I’d recommend this product. Otherwise, I would advise looking elsewhere. That’s not to say the Double Sided Strap-On isn’t fun, me and my boyfriend were able to utilize all parts of this toy in many ways, but that’s more of an affect of it being a manual tool with detachable parts and us being willing to put in a little bit of elbow grease to make it work for us. If you’re or the person you’re buying it for aren’t willing to do that, start saving up. If you are, buy it now with the major discount and you’ll get some bang for your buck!
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KarlandLeni
Mar 27, 2025
The Handy Review – Hands Down the Best Stroker? 🤖💦
The Handy – The Only Hand You’ll Ever Need? 🤔 Alright, let's be honest - Karl and I originally wanted to keep this short and sweet, but The Handy just gets us talking.... and talking... 😅 Seriously, this interactive stroker is like the Swiss Army Knife of pleasure. From its insane customization options and impressive power to the endless rabbit hole of interactive content online, it feels like we've only scratched the surface after a full year of use! If you're short on time, skip right ahead to whatever sparks your interest - we promise there’s plenty to explore. But if you're ready for the full story (and maybe a laugh or two), settle in, because there's a LOT to unpack here! 🍿😉
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KarlandLeni
May 13, 2025
Iroha SVR – Soft, Chic & Surprisingly Good 💍
Couple-Tested, Overthought, and Thoroughly Thrusted – Meet the SVR 🔥 This ring came in cute, quiet, and low-key... and somehow managed to stick around through all our wild ideas and test sessions. From classic missionary to weird shower yoga, we truly put the SVR through it — and it didn’t flinch (well, mostly). It’s not the flashiest toy we own, but it’s one of the most dependable. The rumbles are stronger than you’d expect from something this small, and when used right, it seriously enhances partner play without getting in the way. The silicone is lush, the fit is forgiving, and it never made Karl feel like his circulation was about to cut off. Always a plus. 😅 Sure, it’s not perfect. The charging port gives us minor anxiety, the highest settings might rattle your windows, and you’ll need to readjust in certain positions. But for all the ways it showed up for us — solo, duo, and mid-couch quickie — this little ring really earned its spot. Curious how it performed in every position (yes, even that one)? Scroll back up and see what worked... and what definitely didn’t. 😉
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KarlandLeni
Jun 11, 2025
Lovense Solace Pro Review – The Hands-Free Hack You Need 🔥
Tech, Texture & a Bit Too Much Trouble? We were seriously hyped for this one. Lovense + automatic stroker + app control is chefs kiss. This combo had “next favorite toy” written all over it. But Solace Pro ended up being a bit of a mixed bag for us. When it works, it really works , the manual mode is solid, the hardware feels premium, and the couple play potential is actually exciting. But it also makes you work for the good stuff. Between the loud motor, the hit-or-miss AI syncing, and an interface that can feel more like troubleshooting than foreplay, it’s not a grab-and-go kind of toy. Add in a milder sleeve that didn’t blow us away, and we’re left saying: good idea, decent execution, but not the game-changer we hoped for. Still, we’re tech nerds at heart – and there’s a lot to appreciate if you love syncing toys to smut and building out your gadget collection. Plus, it’s sturdy, well made, and definitely fun in the right setup. Just, maybe not the one you’ll reach for every night. Curious if the future of solo play is here, or still loading? Keep reading to see if it's your new favorite stroker 👀
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NotSoInnocent
Feb 06, 2025
Satisfyer Mission Control Review: Houston We Have Liftoff!
"Mission Control, this is NotSoInnocent, it seems this rocket was able to take us further than we could have ever imagined!" This is "one small step" further into the realm of clitoral stimulation toys that can help you take a "giant leap" into ecstasy! If Buzz Lightyear had to satisfy you with a rocket (that wasn't his own ;P), this would be the one! All puns aside, I would definitely recommend this product! The variety of settings and the waterproof rating make it an awesome companion!
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Animewolfgamer
May 02, 2025
The Job of an Onahole salesman is hard but I am Harder // Cecile Kishiwada X Magic Eyes Review
Anime bitches plus tan bitches PLUS a pretty pussy? That’s the winning combo that makes up Cecile. Brought to us by the sensuous lords at Magic Eyes, responsible for the “bocca de la verita” toy and various other awesome toys, is a wonderfully gentle and satisfying sleeve that is just begging to milk you. I wasn’t aware until I had my hands on this toy that she isn’t a generic anime girl made for the purposes of tingling your dingaling but rather the main character in a doujin titled “The Job of an Onahole Salesman is Hard!” So naturally, it makes sense for her to become an onahole.
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Sydney Screams
Jun 18, 2025
Wandering Bard Toys: Shadow Demon Review - He's a Real Thick Dick!
If you love fantasy dildos that are thicker in the middle, then Wandering Bard Toys' Shadow Demon needs to be on your radar! This fully customizable dildo is made with body-safe silicone and is available in 5 sizes, 3 firmness levels, 9 pour styles, and 99 different colors. There's a ton of texture, but it's not too intense. Plus, it's made by a queer owned indie toy company based in the US! Mine is medium size and firmness with a marble swirl in copper and cosmic coloring.
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RalphGreco
Dec 14, 2024
Co-starring with Lulu Chu's Main Squeeze
Who wouldn't want to get up close and personal with a beautiful Chinese porn star? The Lulu Chu Main Squeeze stroker is a male masturbator rendered in that high-end line of jerk-off sleeves based on the pussy proportions of a famous adult star. With a textured interior, set in a hard-shell case, an oh-so-twistable airtight cap that adds wonderfully to the unit's suction, a side 'squeeze plate' feature so the user can add or decrease pressure as he sees fit, and the ability to disassemble for a quick clean up, you get a lot for the price of this toy. Co-starring with Lulu has never been better. And let's face it, this is as close as any of us is ever likely to get to fucking a porn star. Why not have at it with this well-made, soft and welcoming life-like vagina sleeve.
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straightjacketstruggles
May 27, 2025
CalExotics Boundless Collar Body Restraint: Good Entry Level Cuffs
As a beginner set, the CalExotics Boundless Collar Body Restraint kit skips past cheap, avoids over used materials, and has decent security. I have reviewed dozens of beginner cuffs in the $25-$40 range and this lands in the top 10%, but not the top spot for this price range. The collar and attachment points seem a little more on the fantasy side vs practical. You know that one spot on your back that you just can't quite scratch where only some of us can get our fingers to interlock when reaching from up and down? Well that’s the region all of these rings are in to secure your hands to.
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